Can our virtues destroy us when circumstances change?
“It does not matter whether I want to be changed, because I am changed.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Notes on Grief
When I was 11 years old, I was told my dad had throat cancer.
This year, our children (11 and 8 years old) were told their dad had throat cancer. Although August has begun to breathe life and energy back into our family, we have been changed.
I need to fetch a piece of myself from when everything changed. Come with me back to April when I was exploring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi’s novel, Half of a Yellow Sun. Here we are taken deep into the political and social complexities of a nation and its people during the brutal transition of civil war.
Literature One-Liner
In Half of a Yellow Sun, it is in this story that we find how our strengths of yesterday can become our struggles of today.
Leadership one-liner
Leadership circumstances are always shifting —what once made a leader strong can later undo them when the world demands a different way of living.
when circumstances change
When the cancer diagnosis came in April, I had been re-reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s memoir Notes on Grief. It is a beautiful memoir of the grief that accompanied the death of her father. It was published in April 2021, and holds my hand as I go through the April anniversary of my father’s passing. Death, a serious illness, divorce, loss of a job – all of these transitions can be momentous and force us to look more deeply at our own lives.
How Literature can help
A good book can be like drifting on a current – you start at one place and when you look around a little later, things have changed. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s writing has always had the effect of changing me. I love to re-read books as I go through different phases of my life, and in April I was focused on the novel Half of a Yellow Sun. As my circumstances were suddenly looking very different from the path I had expected for our family, and it cast a new light on the story I was reading.
discomfort is the first sign
The circumstances we live with have been crafted both by the stories we have created around us, and the stories of powerful people. Leaders, cults, tyrants, communities, parents, teachers, friends, family, sales people, the media – humans use storytelling to create meaning, purpose, and unity, as well as to control, direct and hold power over others. If we fit with the story, our lives flow. However, if the circumstance around us change, we can realise that what has previously been our strength can become our weakness.
the first lesson: the truth is optional
The truth is optional in leadership. A compelling and persuasive story depends on emotional resonance more than facts to hook the attention of the masses. In Half of a Yellow Sun, the vision of a few results in the death of a million and the changed lives of many millions more. It shows us from the safety of our own world how an ideology can turns the story of an entire nation can fall into starvation, death and violence.
The Second lesson: the facts lie in Discomfort
The machinations of the world we live in may be far-reaching and out of our control, and the competing stories presenting us with partial truths. It can be overwhelming to listen to the stories around us, however the greatest responsibility we have is to view ourselves and the stories around us with a critical and unflinching assessment.
The third lesson: our identity is separate from our circumstances
It is easy to enmeshed our identity with our circumstances, and to feel we belong. When this occurs, many of our choices and actions can become rooted in fear, sacrificing our own instincts to stay in this circle. We work towards KPIs and forming a sense of meaning in our work, but if asked Why? enough times, the answer will likely come down to fear of the loss of our jobs, fear of failure, and fear of financial loss. Until a new leader comes in or the circumstances change, and then we either align with the new and exciting vision, or we are pushed out of the circle.
Half of a Yellow sun
The novel Half of a Yellow Sun sets out a compelling story of emotional investment and experiences during the birth and death of a new nation. As the circumstances move from visionary and hopeful to broken and destructive, the emotional investment in the vision of a Biafran nation affects the strengths and weaknesses of the characters.
“You can’t write a script in your mind and then force yourself to follow it. You have to let yourself be.”
– Kainene to her boyfriend, Richard (Chapter 14)
society provides a script, we choose how to act on it
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi sets out for us a story that many of us will never experience in our lives – the vision, building and destruction of a nation. In Half of a Yellow Sun, despite the development of civil war, life continues – with sexual relationships, interpersonal conflicts and hubris mixed in with survival, starvation and violence.
Does an inciting event like the civil war cause a change in behaviour in people? Or does it bring our strengths and weaknesses to the surface, challenging our ability to adapt while remaining true to our values?
“When I lost my whole family, every single one, it was as if I had been born all over again […] I was a new person because I no longer had family to remind me of what I had been.”
– Inatimi to Richard, changing his dislike to reverence (Chapter 27)
new circumstances create new fears
The first time I read Half of a Yellow Sun I paid attention to the war and the chaos of circumstance. There was an element of being safe and removed from the story. During the second reading, I experienced our own circumstances being turned upside down, and became hooked by the thought that our fears make us vulnerable, which in turn influences our behaviour.
It can be as evident as fearing death. Or as deeply imprinted in us by societal rules to avoid judgement and rejection at the cost of our own desires or needs.
how does the story play out for our characters?
In Half of a Yellow Sun there are several narratives to offer. One of the key narratives that target how our strengths and weakness are impacted by our circumstances, is that of Olanna and her twin, Kainene.
Kainene is described to us as one of life’s cynical observers, pitied by her twin for being side-lined socially yet perceived to fail to adapt and help herself. Olanna is the character we are primed to like and pay attention to expected to form a bond with – an intelligent woman of privileged background, a person who is described as beautiful and kind, open and inclusive.
When war intrudes however, Kainene’s perceived coldness is contrasted with Olanna’s self-described warmth. The weakness of Kainene’s stand-offish nature allows her the freedom to act with agency, while Olanna’s protects her image for kindness and unity, ultimately setting her on a path of dependency.
Olanna’s kindness and need for closeness are considered virtues and Half of a Yellow Sun quietly criticises our bias towards pleasant and nice. Initially I felt pity and compassion for Olanna. This time however, I saw her imprisoned by her desire to be kind and need to belong, self-presenting her dependency on others as a virtue of kindness and connectivity. Instead of seeing her as being a victim of fate, I wondered if she was merely bleeding the resources of her wealth and privilege into the dust.
In contrast, Kainene’s pragmatism and distance to others emerges as a deep sense of her own identity and the reality around her. Living the same story as Olanna, she has the same values and virtues deep inside her. The difference is that she sees the stories with clarity. Kainene’s decisions take her on different paths, deeply rooted in her need for independence and truth.
It does not make her less vulnerable, yet at the end of it all I would say that Kainene stands in the face of the storm, while Olanna is swept away, at least for a time.
We understand our world through stories
Despite the differences in their personalities, Olanna and Kainene share several critical advantages – wealthy parents, education and social privilege. Money and power go hand-in-hand, offering protection and an easy escape. The other side of that reality is the narrative of Ugwu, a young village boy.
Ugwu is introduced to us early, having just moved from his village to start as a houseboy for Olanna’s boyfriend, Odenigbo. He experiences three different stories around him – the beliefs and customs of his village, Odenigbo’s charismatic ideologies for a new nation, and Olanna’s vulnerability which stirs a need for him to protect her. Initially Ugwu can allow all of these stories to co-exist within himself, allowing himself to hold onto parts of village life, adopting Odenigbo’s narrative, and unwavering loyalty to Olanna.
As the protective circle of his employers shrinks during the devastation and violence of the Biafran War, Ugwu is affected by the reality of these stories. He sees village people killed and starved, displaced from their home as a result of the ideologies Odenigbo expresses. His loyalty to Odenigbo is challenged by the impact of his ideologies on Olanna. And his protectiveness of Olanna is challenged by his emerging independence and the impact that creates on his developing identity.
“He was not living his life; life was living him.”
– Ugwu, fearful of death and feeling pressured to participate in sexual assault (Chapter 29)
the truth will eventually catch up
Leadership theory writes that the truth is optional – it is more important to create an emotional connection to guide behaviour and chang. Regardless of the persuasiveness of a story, there must be facts to support the continuation of the story. Odenigbo is a narrative that shows us an identity woven so tightly with an identity that would rather risk death than admission of a new truth. Odenigbo is Olanna’s boyfriend and Ugwu’s employer. He is a charismatic and out-spoken man who enjoys gathering intellectuals around him for fine dinners and passionate debates in the safety of his living room.
“There are two answers to the things they will teach you about our land: The real answer and the answer you give in school to pass.”
– Odenigbo telling Ugwu to develop external compliance and internal objectivity (Chapter 1)
Odenigbo may claim to recognise the difference between “the real answer and the answer you give in school to pass”, but as stories of war, survival and betrayal unravel his life and the lives of those who love him, he refuses to change his narrative. Passionate and forceful idealism become selfish actions to maintain the storyline he has committed himself and others into, instead of being channelled into meaningful conviction and purpose.
WE will all be changed
Half of a Yellow Sun is an incredible and important story about lives lost. Beyond that the characters explore how we can all respond to stories differently, and how honest we are about the stories we tell ourselves.
The fictional lives of those we meet in Half of a Yellow Sun are forced by war to peel away the layers of the stories around us. Olanna must face how her dependence on others affects her agency and her ability to listen for the truth. Odenigbo must face the consequences of his emotional investment in a story that not longer exists. Ugwu is adrift, finally tethered to an understanding of himself by a traumatic experience. And Kainene is gradually revealed to us as the biased perception of her struggles become her strengths.
Hanging on to the pages of this story we can ask ourselves what story we are telling ourselves, and whether our fears and vulnerabilities influence our ability to hold uncomfortable truths. It is a call to confront our dependencies, to look at our perceived strengths and weaknesses with new eyes, and develop a story for ourselves that is rooted in agency and self-realisation.
“Why do you need so much outside of yourself? Why isn’t what you are enough?”
– Olanna’s emotional dependence is pointed out by a neighbour (Chapter 20)
everything comes to an end
Our stories are not guaranteed the ending we wish for them, and they can always be cut off before we are ready. Learn from Half of a Yellow Sun to question what we are telling ourselves, and being told.
“The reason we live as we do is because we do not remember that we will die. We will all die.”
– Odenigbo to Olanna, grieving a death he perceives as his failure and responsibility (Chapter 28)
It does not matter whether we want to be changed. It matters how we clearly we see ourselves so we can respond to the changes that happen to us.
It is April May June July August September, and the cancer is in remission.
We have been changed.
What is next?